I wish I could say that we did so much this past weekend and checked everything off our to-do list. But that would be a giant lie.
My hips are so sore and it’s becoming harder and harder to get comfortable enough to sleep. Saturday night I slept about 3 hours. Once 7am rolled around I decided to accept defeat and get myself to 8 am yoga. It felt good to stretch out my expanding hips and tight back but when I got home I hit a wall. I planned to do so many things during the day on Saturday and they all had to take a backseat.
These last minute change of plans has been one of the hardest things for me to overcome. Letting go of this control I have over myself has thrown my head for a real spin. In the past, if I didn’t sleep the night before, I would grab an extra coffee mid day & push through the sleepiness. However, pregnancy sleepiness is on another level, there is no such thing as pushing through. My body just gives up and my head gives in. I have to constantly remind myself that I am growing another human & that takes a TON of work. So when I don’t sleep or I wake up extra achey and need to take a step back during the day I have to fight a big internal battle. It’s the ruthless self sabotage that’s so hard to push aside.
For example, on Saturday I felt so guilty that my body was forcing me to stay in bed until we we were ready to go to our little yoga baby shower. This might sound silly but getting everyday errands done is something I’ve always handled but my loving husband forced me to stay in bed while he checked a few things off. It’s almost like I feel as if I’m failing & that I should be able to handle it all.
This pregnancy is definitely bringing to light anything I have ever struggled with and thrown them in my face with a flashing bright light.
For now I will continue to roll with the punches as they like to say because I have a feeling once baby arrives I won’t have a choice.